Thank You Note Etiquette

We know that many of you are planning your weddings, celebrating being engaged, and going to fun bridal showers and events being thrown in your honor. This post is for you! Being engaged is a seriously unforgettable season of life! Few things in life are more fun than bachelorette parties, bridal showers, and celebrating your upcoming marriage with your best friends, closest family members and your future spouse. One thing is for sure: while you're engaged, you can expect to get countless sweet gifts from friends, distant relatives, coworkers, and your mom's friends who you've never met. While many couples don't realize how important it is to send a thank you note, I'm here to tell you: it really truly is. Be sure to mail each person a thank you note for their kindness and generosity! 

Writing a good thank you note is a bit of an art. The skill of writing a good thank you note isn't only necessary when you're engaged and newly married, but it's a skill that will come in handy throughout your entire life. Every lady should know how to write a thank you note! Writing a thank you note isn't as intimidating as it seems, and once you get the hang of it, it's truly a breeze. Here are a few simple rules and an example to get you started. 

(Photos from some of our most recent weddings at The Barn!)

*Buy cute stationery! This is the perfect time to show off your new monogram. Cards with matching envelopes are much cuter (and fancier!) than a sheet of paper in a boring envelope. FYI: good stationery doesn't have to be expensive! Also, make sure your writing is legible. Don't rush through your cards!

*Send them in a timely manner. The sooner you send out your thank you cards, the better. Try to mail your cards as soon as possible, but definitely within three months of receiving your gift. But it is better to send a note late than not at all. 

*Send them to the right people. Anyone who gave you a gift at your engagement party, bridal shower or wedding needs a thank you card. Also send one to your officiant, shower and party hostesses, and anyone else who helped you out on your big day. 

*How should you start your thank you note? When I was writing thank you notes after my high school graduation, a sweet little Southern old lady gave me an old-fashioned tip that has stuck with me. Don't start your note with "thank you." I have no idea what the purpose of that is, but I always write my cards that way! If starting your note with "thank you" feels right, go for it!

*Mention how you will use the gift you received. If the gift was money, don't mention the amount in the card. You can mention how you'll spend the money by saying, "We plan to use the money for a romantic dinner on our honeymoon" or "We're putting the money toward the KitchenAid mixer we've been saving up for."

*Be yourself. Make sure your note feels genuine; don't get caught up in eloquent, stuffy words, but write from your heart. It's better to be yourself, even if you're a little goofy. You can have an overall template for your thank you's, but they shouldn't all be exactly the same. Make them personal ("We were so thankful you could make it to the wedding. Having fun on the dance floor with you was one of my favorite memories from the night!"). You don't have to go on and on. A short thank you is fine!

*Handwrite your note and send it the old-fashioned way. I'm talking about snail mail, of course. When it comes to thank you notes, text messages and emails aren't good enough. Sorry, y'all! Just think about how much you love receiving a letter in the mail; everyone who receives a thank you card from you will love it too!

And here's a quick example:

"Dear Katie,

It was so kind of you to think of Alex and I during our engagement. Thank you so much for the saucepan! Cooking is our favorite thing to do together, and we can't wait to use the pan to try out a few new recipes. We were so thankful that you were able to make it to our wedding! I wish I had been able to speak to you more, but I'm sure we'll get to catch up at the reunion next month. Again, thank you for thinking of us, and we look forward to seeing you soon!


Simple enough, right?!